I hate being Debbie-Downer (no pun intended), I never intended this forum to be a soapbox for my self-indulgent twattle that centers around my self pity. But here it is nonetheless.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
I'm so not even close to having a baby, despite that Edgar Allen Poe perpetually swinging pendulum-like biological clock that tick-tocks away, and every single day that i don't use them my eggs degrade. Every single day I move one infinitesimally small step away from the perfect baby every mother hopes for. It is that fear that creeps into my head in the small of the night, or the still of the day. Unexpected, unbidden and unwanted... i don't want to be that girl that fears this. I am bigger than this, I am more than this. I need this to not be a part of my life. The fear/worry or the possible reality of this, not for me or anyone.