Thursday, August 12, 2010


Life is good; then again, I do have the best life ever...

That said, it is not without bumps in ye olde road (I really love superfluous Es at the ends of words). Three major-minor or minor-major incidents include (in order of occurence) Chief Wampum, Explorocat and That's What You Get.

Chief Wampum- One, of the legion, of the things that has to be done when moving cross country is to find new services; such as a new salon/barber. I started where anyone my age starts: google. Salon E (terrible name=red flag?) had an excellent review and has been around for several decades and it is a father/daughter business; good idea, right?


Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I arrive home after a self-induced annoyingly impotent attempt to set up natural gas service to find my buddy freshly- and closely- shorn. As he turned to flee my yuck, that had resulted from driving to the wrong address (oddly, Salon E's) I saw the scalping of 2010. Ernie's daughter, remember owner/operator father/daughter team, hereafter to be known as Chief Wampum is, how shall I say it... oh, I know: TERRIBLE at her job.

Rather than cutting his hair- like Calley did, with actual scissors- she, Chief Wampum used electric trimmers. Think about what Ron Artest did to his hair in the playoffs, the razor designs. Now think about how that looks when it is unintentionally done.

My angst and yuck was such that I told my buddy to saddle up, as we were immediately and directly heading to Salon E. He had no idea there was a problem, Chief Wampum had neglected to show him the back of his head. RED FLAG!

Upon entering the receptionist had a curiously confused face to see my buddy so soon after his haircut, a word which here means scalping, until I spun him around to show her the hack job and explained that he hadn't seen the damage yet. Receptionist takes us back to Chief Wampum, Chief Wampum shows him his brutally bad cut (meanwhile receptionist has already pulled cash for his full refund), trying to explain "that's where the bones are." No, that is where your lack of ability and integrity are. See ya Salon E!

Explorocat- Cats don't like change. The really don't like being drugged two days in a row and driven cross country to be plopped down in a creaky, old house that has had a barrage of activity in it. Mali really doesn't like that. In the interest of her safety we kept this indoor/outdoor feline friend confined to the innards of 1733. Then last Saturday she snuck out the slow-to-close back door, but came back within 20 minutes. So when she wanted out later that evening I happily complied. And when we left for dinner (walking trip) and she was posted up on Jeepy we thought, good work Mali!

But then she was gone.

The next day she was gone. All told she was MIA for about 30 hours. Maybe more, I haven't really done the math on that. Monday morning she appeared before we went to work, which is good because my internal panic meter was beginning to rise like Shuttle Endeavour. Hopefully that was a one-off and we'll not lose her again.

That's What You Get- Super cute little house came with stove and mickey mike, but no fridge. Craigslist, which is where we found super cute little house, found us a fridge for $200 (including delivery). It is used, big, white and ugly. The antithesis of what we had at the manse, but it keeps food cold and arrived day 2 of Ohio and those were both high on the priority list.

So, I was placing the lodge skillets and stainless steel pan on top of the fridge when the stainless lid slipped off, fell behind the fridge, hitting lord knows what (I know what it hit- I'm just trying to build suspense) just as the fridge sparked and died.

I called Jon, fridge salesman, and he informed me that as it was an as-is sale, he didn't know what the problem was nor did he care. It's fine. I called Terry instead. I don't know Terry, at least I didnt' at the time, but we had a good chat as I was preparing dinner for my buddy and myself and he was fixing the chill chest. Turns out the lid slid between the plug and outlet causing it to trip the breaker. No worries there.

However, Terry did point out several fridge offenses. Ranging from annoying, lazy, improper and illegal. Great. Oh well, it was a $200 fridge, and it isn't actually broken- yet.

These minor-major or major-minor (I can't decide which more accurately describes the semi-severity of the aforementioned scenarios) moments are the taxes in my paycheck. Unavoidable, yucky, but a small part of the best life ever.

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